That's why it seems such a puzzle to so many of my clients that they could be doing something wrong. Since they tend to examine their motives very carefully it just doesn't seem possible, but, there are other things many of them do that often drives men away.
Small things they say or emotional games that may not seem that significant, but the result is always the same - they push the man they care about away from them, even if they didn't mean to. Here are three ways women accidentally push men away:
1. "BEING NEGATIVE AND HARSH"
Sometimes a woman will be critical of the man she loves. She may do this by saying things like, "You don't love me anymore, do you?" or "Why don't you just break up with me?" Why would she say such things? Often, she fears deep inside her heart that he is
going to leave her and she wants him to reassure her of his love. By making such statements, she expects (or hopes) that he will come to her rescue by reaffirming his love for her and reassuring her about her fears.
The problem is that a man will only reassure a woman so often before he begins to feel that she is a child (emotionally). Men hate this game. It doesn't make a man want to offer his woman more love, but rather pushes him away. Men don't expect a woman to never complain or embarrass him. I simply mention these examples to let you know how these actions affect men. When you complain or are negative,
the validation or reassurance you seek comes with a price. He will slowly start to pull away from you emotionally. What works better is when you share your feelings with him
honestly.
*If you're feeling lonely mention this instead of accusing him.
*If you're overwhelmed, tell him without blaming him.
*Instead of saying "You're going to break up with me, aren't you?" say "Are you upset with me?"
If you try what I'm suggesting, you'll find that he will be much more receptive to what you are saying. It will probably feel uncomfortable (maybe even scary) but it gives you the opportunity to create a moment of intimacy. Instead of accusing him harshly, speak to him honestly, without exaggerating.
2. "LOOKING FOR WAYS TO TEST HIM "
This method is similar to being negative except that it is more subtle. Rather than saying powerful negative statements, a woman tests her man in ways that may seem playful to a casual observer but are truly manipulative. For example, a woman might tease her man in public, "nag", or even pick a fight to see if he will stay with her when she upsets him. If he complains about these actions, she can reply, "Oh, don't be so sensitive," or "I didn't realize that bothered you." It's a very clever way of testing a man, but it doesn't inspire loyalty either.
Instead, it makes him feel that the woman he loves doesn't understand him. He can tell that something isn't "right" in the relationship. When he mentions this to her, denial only makes his uncertainty grow.
3. "DOING THINGS TO RUIN/END THE RELATIONSHIP"
Consider the woman who repeatedly cheats on her partners. She most likely wants love, but goes about getting it in the wrong way. She's so afraid of a man hurting her that she destroys the relationship when there are difficulties rather than work through them. While there are a million reasons why women (and men) cheat, I've found in my clinical practice that the fear of being abandoned is frequently the root cause of infidelity. Have you ever done any of these 3 things with a man? I don't say this to put all the
blame on you, but rather to show you how these actions affect a man. Are you suppose to never do any of these?
Well, if you cheat on him, you'll likely need help saving your relationship, but the first two items are simply things to watch about yourself. It's just easier to be negative or test a man than it is to be vulnerable. Even though sharing how you feel when you're upset is a little scary, I want you to be with a man that is willing to listen to you when you're upset and wants to make you happy.
Source: dominant-male.blogspot.com
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