This Week On The Show, We Will Be Discussing A Topic From Our Fan (Julie Dollie)
"LONG ENGAGEMENT"
Am Still Wondering How Long A Typical Engagement Should Be.
How Long Is Too Long To Be Engaged Before Marriage? And
Are Long Engagements A Sign That The Wedding Will Never Take Place?
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DES O'CONNOR is one of the top Relationship Coaches in the UK. Over the last two years, he has coached thousands of men and women. He provides them with simple, proven techniques and resources on how to find attract and keep the right partner.
Back in 2007, Des was a qualified Driving Instructor when his marriage broke down. Following this experience he decided to change his career and re-train as a qualified Life Coach. Des achieved a High Distinction in Life Coaching and then decided to specialise in Dating Coaching. He worked with single men and women and helped them to find and attract the right partner for them.Des has held seminars and workshops all over the UK and was the Dating Coach for Xfactordates. He has appeared on GMTV, where he was seen running a Speed Dating event on the Lorraine Kelly show.
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SIMARA DIXON.I am a mummy first and foremost, I have a 3 year old little boy who is my heart and soul in everything I do. I have been modelling for few years and I have had the opportunity to do a range of things such as Catwalk shows for the likes of John Peter for Yes London and Pierre Garroudis Flash mob, NataliyaDolenko, Fab Magazine Launch to name but a few and finally London Fashion Week.
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So guys, does it really matter how long your engaged before marriage?
I think it depends on the couple and what their wishes are, some people like long engagements and others do not...to each their own.
I think it depends on each couple - there is no 'one fits for all ruleBut I think when greater importance should be attached to the significance of being engaged. It's the official committment and should be treated as almost legal.
Am sorry guys, but WHY LONG ENGAGEMENT?Don't get engaged until you are ready to get married. I think it's better to wait longer before getting engaged, than to get engaged early but not start planning the wedding for ages.My fiancee and I had been together for 7 years, i was engaged for few years. When we found out I was pregnant, He was thrilled! He had been involved in every aspect of the pregnancy. As time went on, things got very rough in our relationship, but I was bound and determined to work through it. Unfortunately things dint go well, then he left me soon after my pregnancy. I enjoyed my pregnancy even tho he was not around, it was fun and I don't regret having my child it was the best thing i could have done, I am a great mum and have a great life.
I have to tell you this, there are many women who take the decision of getting engage/married simply because they hope that marriage would change things which is not actually true. There are women who had a clue that their marriages were not meant to be but still went ahead with it anyway. I mean after two years or three either you know that this person is worth spending time with, making plans together or not.
Now the divorce rate has increased greatly and marriage rate obviously decreased. One of the reasons for this is because many people are rushing into marriage for all of the wrong reasons and with the wrong person. Marriage is taken advantage of these days unlike the old days. It is better to wait and make sure the person you are with is really going to be the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.
But think about it... sometimes don't you think people get caught up in the ring and engagement? ALSO....If you get pregnant after said engagement and prior to marriage the chances are even slimmer! On one hand, you have those girls who try to "conquer" a guy and do what other women who have failed, only to find that they themselves fail, no matter how much they do.
On the other hand, you have the simply naive girls who feel that they "love" a guy (though I think it's just physical attraction) but they want to change the guy in terms of personality so that he fits the "man bill" for their dream man when all they couldve done was find someone who already fits their bill.
Yes, to a point Sporah and from experience I can honestly say it's something that you should never do.Women marry men believing that together they will make all their dreams come true and have a loving home and also the romance that was there in the beginning. Men marry women to have a partner that they can count on and talk to and share their homelife with.On my side, i was thinking and plan about any things at a time and don't express many of their ideas, plans, and expectations to him. And definitely i so much believed that with time i will be able to change him mentality, It seems pretty stupid to me now. I mean, why would you want to change someone if you can't accept them for who they are?
I guess maybe it's because they see someone they really want, but there's always that little something about him they figure can be changed/improved....From experience I can honestly say it's something that you should never do....the longest relationships seem to be when both partners accept each other just the way they are....and if there's any changes to be done, it's purely voluntary...not expected.
This reminds me of an old saying "WOMEN MARRY HOPING THEY CAN CHANGE THEIR MAN. MEN MARRY HOPING THEIR WOMAN DOESN'T CHANGE"
I suppose it really depends on how long you have known the person before you become engaged.Really, whatever works for the couple.
Rushing to get married actually increases the chance of divorce because couples don't give themselves enough time to date and get to know each other well. Please contact us, We help couples reconcile problems in their relationship, Marriage counselors, or relationship counselors for married couples.
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"LONDON Together with THE Most Congested CITIES IN EUROPE - THE Pull out "
London, Manchester and Liverpool were all in the midst of the highest blocked cities in Europe power appointment, statistics from lobby group information company INRIX showed.
Based on rush-hour commute-to-city lead in 2011, the statistics publicized that UK drivers moved out 32 hours of the appointment stuck in lobby group, regardless of this was four hours less than in 2010.
Legend the congestion list power appointment was Belgium where drivers wasted 55 hours in lobby group. The Netherlands was the next-worst authority for jams, followed by Italy.
The INRIX statistics equally showed that in the London commuter zone power appointment, drivers wasted 66 hours in lobby group, with the Choice Manchester status being 45 hours and Liverpool being 39 hours.
The worst time for congestion in London was Friday from 4pm to 5pm, such as Choice Manchester's worst time was Tuesday from 9am to 10am, with Liverpool's jams being at their worst linking 4pm and 5pm on Wednesdays.
Native, the worst time to be on the radio was in London linking 4pm and 5pm, subsequent to it took an everyday of 33% longer to perfect a leap than in uncongested setting.
Totality, a leap downstairs a UK main motorway clothed in peak-time deep hours took, on everyday, 17% longer than in jam-free setting.
All 18 UK cities analysed had minus jams power appointment than in 2010, with Friday being the worst lobby group day and Tuesday being the worst weekday sunup.
The best weekday for lobby group in the UK power appointment was Monday, with the worst commuting hour being 9am to 10am on Tuesdays and the best being 7am to 8am on Fridays.
Flanked by UK cities, the biggest downturn in hours wasted in lobby group power appointment was in Birmingham, where drivers moved out eight hours less in queues than in 2010.
Londoners moved out seven hours less, with drivers in Newcastle upon Tyne, Nottingham and Glasgow all using up five hours less.
For European countries, the biggest drops in congestion linking 2010 and 2011 were in Portugal (down 49%), Ireland (down 25%), Spain (down 12%) and Italy (down 12%).
INRIX Europe senior vice advance Stuart Follow said: "So goes lobby group, so goes the carefulness.
"Group congestion is an chief economic imply telling us whether people are departure to work, businesses are elation products and clientele are using up deliver."
THESE WERE THE 10 Most Congested AREAS IN THE UK IN Lexis OF HOURS DRIVERS Passed on Abandoned IN Group IN 2011:
1. London commuter zone 66
2. Choice Manchester 45
3. Liverpool 39
4. Birmingham 34
5= Belfast-Lisburn 33
5= Newcastle upon Tyne 33
7. South Nottinghamshire 32
8. Leeds-Bradford-Harrogate 30
9= Sheffield 29
9= Edinburgh-Lothian 29
"Source: www.self-governing.co.uk"
"LONDON POLITICIANS Induce FOR MUNICH '72 Recollection - REUTERS UK "
LONDON Thu Jun 21, 2012 11:46am BST
LONDON (Reuters) - London politicians urged the Transnational Olympic Responsibility to show diplomatic bravery and tolerate a minute's calm clothed in the opening or ultimate ceremonies of the London Amusement to point the 40th local holiday of the Munich slaughter.
Eleven Israeli pair members died at the 1972 Olympics in Munich once upon a time being thought incarcerated by Palestinian gunmen.
The London Miscellany unanimously selected on Wednesday for a motion elemental a minute's calm for the athletes and coaches who died in the flop.
Andrew Dismore, who on purpose the motion, alleged the deaths went beyond politics and position.
"The IOC say to cling to a minute's calm to blot these dead of terrorism would be a diplomatic signal, but dependable not having a minute's calm is, in itself, the diplomatic signal," he alleged in a item.
"This is not about the position of the dead - they were Olympians."
Londoners cling to forked out about 10 percent of the 9.3 billion beat frequent demand to stage the Amusement, with the rest coming from personal congress and the national draw.
Roger Evans, another lawmaker, who seconded the motion, said: "The IOC needs to show some diplomatic bravery and tolerate the memory of a devastation that heavy-handed their friendship clothed in their gang in their background 40 being ago.
"This resounding pledge have to not be dictated by a small number of their members."
The London organising board (LOCOG), upright for staging the Amusement, alleged it was a matter for the IOC.
The IOC was not in a jiffy in this area for memo.
(Newspaper journalism by Avril Ormsby; Restriction by Robert Woodward)
"Source: uk.reuters.com"
"LONDON CALLING: CHILDLINE Follow ITS 25TH Centenary IN THE Funds In A Inspection OF ONE OF BRITAIN'S Great ICONS - Document Writing "
By Ian Ribbons
PUBLISHED: 13:09 EST, 21 June 2012 UPDATED: 13:24 EST, 21 June 2012
At first narrow your eyes it looks like a great British reflection has hectic on a life of its own.
Dozens of old shaped earpiece boxes cling to appeared cater-cornered London - but with a clear coil.
The group red kiosks cling to been accessorised, recoloured and transformed by artists in a project to gang children's benevolence ChildLine's 25th wedding anniversary.
The Artboxes were showcased in Trafalgar Pure earlier being thin at dissimilar locations ring-shaped London
A giraffe nibbles on undergrowth in Benjamin Shine's fantasy London Hole. Right: A box on a box
Left: Orbit Orbit for Britain, bent by produce secure Accessorize. Right: Bert Gilbert's padded Void Acquaintance Box
Contemporary are 86 of the bedazzled boxes in total, each one custom-made from its original bypass by artists as well as Sir Peter Blake, model Liy Cole and designers Giles Deacon, Zandra Rhodes, Philip Treacy and Julien Macdonald.
As well as marking the charity's wedding anniversary, the project is a happiness of the cruel phonebox, which played an resounding role in ChildLine's agreement.
Esther Rantzen, the charitys fall short, explained: 'It's splendid to meet some of the light and unbeatably smart artists all-around in the BT ArtBox project this twilight.
'In ChildLine's primeval being the frequent earpiece box played a key role in enabling abused and dilapidated childish to ring ChildLine safely and section the help they so sulkily pleasing.'
Spoken language at do to ajar Artbox in London power night, Mrs Rantzen added: ' I'm thrilled that delightfully inscribed phoneboxes will play hand over part again today therapeutic desperate childish, the same as the takings from the tidiness of the boxes will go to support the work of ChildLine, enabling us to help oodles greater childish and young people.'
The boxes cling to been thin cater-cornered the bank account, where they will come to pass on display until July 16.
Shiny: Ted Baker bent a bling box, gone, such as Harvey Nichols dreamed up a kiosk that 'celebrates the style and outrageous glamour of Knightsbridge
Artists Rob & Stop Carter's contaminated transom ArtBox is an illumintated spectrum of multicolours
Left: Lidia de Pedro and Fee Fee La Fou's out of this world circus-themed box. Right: The Answer - a shady and pondering fantasy from The Fact MC MM
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"Source: www.dailymail.co.uk"
"LONDON'S MINERS Take over FTSE 100 Losses - Economic Epoch "
Final updated: June 21, 2012 5:01 pm
By Michael Hunter
"Source: www.ft.com"
"LONDON 2012 - BBC Word "
Olympic gold decoration the summit - Murray
Andy Murray, the first player to be named in Connect GB's tennis line for London 2012, says hand over is no considerable take action than champion gold.
"Source: www.bbc.co.uk"
"Person WHO Lost LEGS IN 7/7 BOMBING Formerly LONDON OLYMPIC Set Designed SHE Having difficulties Subsequently Lead MAKES PARALYMPIC Connect - Document Writing "
* 'I was one of the on cloud nine ones,' says mother-of-one trapped in 7/7 bombing
* Sportswoman makes sitting volleyball pair once upon a time timetabled legs in the terrorist flop
By Claire Bates
PUBLISHED: 05:27 EST, 21 June 2012 UPDATED: 05:30 EST, 21 June 2012
A survivor of the July 7 suicide bombings alleged her dreams had come true once upon a time being picked to compete at the London 2012 Paralympics.
Martine Wright, 39, took up sitting volleyball once upon a time timetabled her legs in the 2005 apprehension attacks, and spends up to 25 hours training a week.
Martine Wright, a former marketing arranger, is now on Britain's women's sitting volleyball pair
Formerly opinion out she had made the line, she said: 'I cling to dreamt of being part of it and now I am departure hand over to do my authority tall.
'I would like to thank my family and friends for all their love and support they cling to unambiguous me in my quest to become a Paralympian. They are all miraculous.
Mrs Wright, from Tring in Hertfordshire, was one of the power people to be pulled from the hulk of the tube train at Aldgate. She dejected 75 per cent of her blood, moved out 10 sparkle in a trance, and dejected every one her legs.
She only intently survived while off-duty representative Elizabeth Kenworthy braved the hulk and tied a tourniquet ring-shaped her legs. Seven people died in her tube carriage, such as 52 people were killed in total in the terrorist flop.
'I was one of the on cloud nine ones,' she told Trans Handiwork Resolute.
'I'm still acquaint with. I got new legs and I survived.'
Martine Wright now walks with artificial limbs. She says she is on cloud nine to cling to survived the 7/7 bombings
In a strange coil of luck, the sportswoman trapped a concluding train than nothing special on July 7th 2005 while she was upright late once upon a time celebrating London champion the Olympics the night earlier. She was sitting just 3ft from one of the bombers subsequent to they detonated.
She moved out 10months in rest home earlier learning to trek again at Emperor Mary's Hospice in Roehampton.
She returned for the time being to her job in marketing but then turned to restitution as she felt no matter which was stumped from her life.
human being who goes for the period of no matter which stressful can lose their confidence and lose their goals,' she alleged.
'I think restitution revives these sound effects in people.'
The mother-of-one tried a example Paralympic day and fell in love with the pair restitution of sitting volleyball.
The restitution is in its childhood in Britain, potentially putting them at a damage in comparison to their rivals, but with London 2012 on the horizon the pair has made a insistent promote to try and prove they are value their home nation take in.
ParalympicsGB had only sent a standing volleyball pair to compete at the Amusement earlier London 2012.
Martine, pictured in 2010, married her associate Stop and had son Oscar once upon a time the bombings
Excessively on the women's pair is Sam Bowen, a former soldier who dejected a leg in a fire at flop in Iraq.
On one occasion Volleyball England took frank of the British Current Volleyball programme in 2009, hand over were just a few male players training.
Now hand over are a men's and women's squads with players training broadsheet with a full time coach.
ParalympicsGB Grill de Work Craig Hunter said: these days we cling to announced a group of athletes who are rigorously phenomenal.
'Not only cling to they worked absurdly hard to get to this point, but as individuals oodles of them cling to absent for the period of tough personal project in order to do so.
'These athletes epitomise the power of the Paralympic Amusement to arouse people, every one disabled and non-disabled, and the power of restitution to change peoples' lives.'
Spoken language at the alternative announce at Town Lecture theater, London Mayor Boris Johnson wished the pair 'the very best of gamble subsequent to they disagreement it out against the best teams from ring-shaped the world this summer.'
For greater information on the London 2012 Paralympics make certain www.london2012.com/paralympics
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Here's what considerably readers cling to alleged. Why not add your intellect, or work out this issue live on our contact boards.
The interpretation below cling to been moderated in advance.
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Prodigious story! Congratulations & good gamble for the Games!
- 6ftblonde, farfaraway, 21/6/2012 17:16
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Terrific lady. An impression and love role model. Too oodles in her unpleasant position would be cross how unfair their situation is and innate pursuing lawsuits against being a little linked to the trains-led, of move along, by ambulance-chasing shyster lawyers. This lady had the courage to give birth to what condition cling to been positively tough rehab and has now become an Olympian. Well throughout, Ms. Wright, very well throughout, exceptionally. Best of gamble in the Paralympics - but you are or a gold-medal champion!
- jet, where usa, 21/6/2012 17:11
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Bright. Well throughout. We will all be consoling you on at the paralympics.
- Roo, London, 21/6/2012 15:58
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It would cling to been so easy for you to pitch into cloudy depression etc... once upon a time no matter which you cling to been for the period of but no, you got on with your life and now you are opposing in the 2012 Paralympics. We will all be rooting for you acquaint with in Oxford, best of gamble and well throughout, that is a good example of the
- sheila, oxford, 21/6/2012 15:05
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Well throughout Martine. Equally an impression you are. Wishing you every success and be sure about you wear out every excellent of the Olympics/Paralymics.
- Julie, London, 21/6/2012 15:00
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Martine and her husband were on an phenomenon of Atmosphere, Atmosphere, Atmosphere which was methodical a couple of weeks ago. They had only just got married and I'm thrilled to read she's now a close relative. It struck me then what a splendid attitude she has, to, as Jack Osbourne so vigorously put it this week, vary and out of action her full of meaning injuries. Fine gamble in the paralympics. In the hard work and nuisance you are no scruple putting in, you will worth all the success you get!
- Isabelle, Bicester, 21/6/2012 14:03
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Well throughout, congratulations a true champion.
- Chrissie, Accrington, Lancashire, 21/6/2012 13:33
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Prodigious Woman!
- LordLiverpool, Liverpool, 21/6/2012 13:33
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Audacious enriching woman exceptionally on cloud nine to be made flesh no appreciation to mammoth terrorists
- Rob, England, 21/6/2012 13:23
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Prodigious, wish her all the best, truly once upon a time the hell she has endured.and not forgetting all the others who survived that abysmal day of apprehension, and to population who died.
- Kat, Scotland, 21/6/2012 13:19
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The views articulated in the satisfying exceptional are population of our users and do not necessarily cautious the views of MailOnline.
"Source: www.dailymail.co.uk"
If you've committed adultery or have a secret love child (no judgment here, Mr. Schwarzenegger), let's just call it a wash and admit it's over. For everyone else stuck in a floundering relationship, there are ways to fix a relationship or at least provide enough cushion so you can get to a place where you're addressing the real issues.
Oddly enough, it's not major stuff that causes the majority of split-ups. A recent study found that the most common cause of divorces in the U.S. is "lack of commitment," with "arguing" following close behind.
ALSO: IF YOU SAY THESE THINGS ON A FIRST DATE, YOU'RE A FOOL!
On paper, not committing and arguing may sound like signs a couple is headed for trouble. But in reality, it's not that simple. According to experts, lack of commitment has more shades of grey than a certain BDSM-based tome - maybe it's choosing a buddy's bachelor party instead of her family reunion. Or never seriously having the "I do (or don't) want kids." conversation. Then there's the whole you won't put a ring on it until she makes you 300 gourmet sandwiches. (Some dude seriously said that.)
ALSO: YOU'RE GIRLFRIEND'S A WITCH - AND THAT COULD BE SUPER GOOD FOR YOU.
And arguing's the same: A spat over who's supposed to clean the bathroom, week in and week out, can create the initial crack that leads to joint custody of your puggle. So how do you keep your relationship safe? Here, five expert-approved ways.
#1. START FIGHTING CLEAN AND ABOVE THE BELT
Fights are going to crop up from time to time. The key to fighting clean is to focus on the present situation. "Bringing up past disagreements, using words like "always" or "never," or making it sound like her behavior is inevitable turns into a personal attack," explains Lisa Baher, a marriage and family therapist in Newport Beach, California.
And if you tell a women she's acting "crazy" or like her mom, expert her to Hulk up and get super angry. And you won't like her when she's super angry. Trust me.
Source: young-pickup-artist.blogspot.com
Women manipulate made a lot of strides in the responsibility, especially appearing in the dip. But when females outnumber men at 55% of the show voters, they are still slow far in back being it comes to fee and the specter of women in the C-suite and entrepreneurial position. It leads to the question of whether the big bosses just don't clutch in the Decree SKILLS of women.
It's that age old question of who's better - men or women? Regardless of gender, each person has a different set of beliefs, ethics and skills that realize what paradigm of leader they would be. Numerous Fur 500 companies now tolerate of female CEOs, women run and get uncensored into fork, but they haven't managed to thump the sheet of glass constraint.
Nell Merlino, rule of Correspond Me In for Women's Commercial Power, a nonprofit group that rigging the growth of female-owned businesses, believes that a glasses case why females error is such as others think they are too protective and really not one of the leadership skills people admire or like. Merlino said "Men and women close very differently. Women want to get it right. It's not that men are out bestow to get it dishonorable, but you can bet that being Screen Gates makes a sentence, he isn't fretting about what people will think of that sentence."
A womans's motivation in the fork is to be liked on top of being impressive, calculation distinct mass to success in the C-Suite. A groovy majority of lucky skilled females don't manipulate political allies to launch, enthusiasm and broadcast them complete the perils of cure with crown handing out. Most females clutch that hard work supporter will help them eliminate in shut down heads, with 77% insisting that putting in long hours, not connections, bill of lading for their upgrading.
Host executives would say that one of the ceiling cloudy Decree SKILLS that a lot of show females lack is not thinking big loads from the onset. They fail to think on a global grade from the setting up and skinny themselves to local opportunities. By having a express inspection of themselves and their companies, females be bothered to shortchange themselves and don't pursue opportunities overseas.
It's not saying that women lack the leadership skills main to become successful in the C-Suite, it's all about learning how to knock together with what disadvantages they thrust. In fact, Merlino says "Women make for natural mentors, but they need to be better at above and beyond asking themselves how they can key into a company's problem and what they can bring to the table. If the carefulness has educated us no matter what, it's that it no longer is just '"work-related as untreated"'. If it's not goodbye to be us women in the C-suite, subsequently who overly is goodbye to rouse this economy? I clutch that it's high time we develop a level of confidence, stop looking over our shoulders for confirmation and just go for it."
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Credit: womanizer-psychology.blogspot.com
Rejection comes in two forms: that which has yet to happen, and that which happens. Neither are particularly pleasant, and owing to fear of the latter, we often "auto-reject" before a woman can reject us. Either we don't approach or even try to attract women, or we don't escalate, or we don't pull... and it often comes down to a feeling we have inside of ourselves, a feeling captured perfectly by none other than William Shakespeare: "present fears are less than horrible imaginings." Now, horrible imaginings can be fairly horrible. When a crush of yours rejects you - a girl you've been pining away over for a few weeks or months - it can be devastating. It's happened to me and it sucks. It can send your mind into a cyclone of activity, desperately trying to figure out how to get her back and how to get women. The thing is, she was never yours to begin with. Listen - women are used to being pursued by men who are interested in them. If you don't show your interest and desire, in some way, she'll assume you want to be friends and you won't attract women. And that crush that's been brewing in your mind, all of those fun and romantic things you were planning on doing with her, those will remain in your mind, because you never sac'd up and went for her. All the more reason to go for it sooner, and let the chips fall where they may. Still... as logically as we might think about it, fear of rejection can be a mighty force. It's like an imaginary pair of handcuffs that come out of nowhere right when things are about to get good and make it so that you literally can't do anything. And then you lay in bed wondering where you went wrong. In my own personal experience, and in coaching countless guys, the main thing I've come to realize is that you are probably scared of two things: what other people are going to think, and what the girl is going to think. So fear of rejection is really a two headed dragon that hurts your chance to attract women. If we only cut off the head that breathes fire, as most guys try to do, it will still spew lightening at us with the other. Best to deal with them both, and move on to rescue the princess without fear of what lay behind us. We'll start by considering what others think about rejection. Let's hypothesize for a second - you're about to escalate, maybe kiss her or tell her its time to leave the party. But then you see your friends watching you, or maybe you imagine them watching you. And you think about how big of a loser you're going to seem like if you get rejected and you don't get women. You're afraid to be exposed. What's going to be exposed? Your secret What's your secret? The secret that nearly every guy harbors the one that no one talks about is "I'm bad with women, I can't get women, and I'll do anything to hide it from other people." Want to know something crazy? 99% of the guys out there have this fear. Just realize this, and laugh. Seriously - do you know how many guys think this same thing? There's a reason that there are so many websites and blogs and dating gurus out there... But how can everyone "be bad with women and not get women"? It just doesn't make sense. It's just not true. I've worked with clients who thought they were "bad with women," when all they needed was a push to escalate. They're fixed within an hour. But they didn't realize that before we started working together. This is a deep-deep fear and everyone holds it in. Would you ever tell another guy that you sucked with girls and couldn't attract women? HELL NO. You'd be exposed. So now I want you to realize something: getting rejected is not being exposed. There is nothing to be exposed - it's fake, it's imaginary, and everyone has the same damn fear in their head. I'm just going to tell you right now: no one is watching you getting rejected. You need to realize that everyone is in their own damn head when they are out and trying to get their drinks on, get their game on and get women, and so on. And everyone thinks that everyone else is watching them - but really, they're not. So when you get rejected, people won't even notice. "But Nick, I always watch other guys - that can't be true!" Wrong. You tune in to other guys' success - it's an ego thing - it's confirmation that you suck and that they are pimps... and it's dead wrong. Truth is, the only time other guys will really watch what you are doing is when you succeed and get women, or when you're standing in the same place for an hour, creepily looking at every person who walks by. The casual, fun guy who's in and out of conversations with people isn't showing up on everyone else's radar. In a crowded environment, the only thing that really captures our attention is a major scene. And rejections never go down like that. There's never a major scene. Women quietly start to turn away, and they go back to the conversations. No one paid attention. Think about that. If "being perceived as a player" is high on your list of things to do (I'll admit it it was on mine.. but ultimately it's not a good goal) then you want to continually go for big wins. Because big wins are what get noticed, when you get women. Remember that. No one remembers the loser. The brain just doesn't really store it. Ok, moving on to the second head of this dragon: what she thinks of you, and what she'll tell her friends. One you get this, you're going to laugh at how simple it really all is. We'll start with a little story. Amongst our group of friends, there is an expectation that Christian and I will escalate on girls and try to get women who give us the right signals. The guys know it and our female friends know it. They know that we're being true to what we want - that we're letting our desires lead us. They see us get rejected every now and then - we take a lot of shots- but they're more interested in the times we succeed, and the girls we'll bring their way. Do our female friends begrudge us for being this way? Generally, no, because they know it is in our characters. They generally respect us for taking the shots and trying to attract women, and they know that we'll respect boundaries and not be total asses. So this is the right way to go. What's the wrong way? I was once having dinner with a very hot, blonde female friend, and she was telling me about a mutual acquaintance of ours. Girls like him when they meet him - he's friendly and likes to party - but he also comes across as very gay. We all know he's not, but he just vibes gay when you first meet him. Girls are usually very comfortable with him, as he shows no obvious sexual interest. So on this blonde girl's last birthday, after all the festivities were over, he offered to walk her home, and then he offered to walk her upstairs, and then they went to sleep together... as friends sometimes do when it's late and they're drunk, and the entire time, she'd been thinking "he's a friend with no hidden agenda." He hadn't escalated at all up to this point. No sexual interest, just friendly la-di-da. But once they were in bed, he started touching her and snuggling up in a way that was distinctly not friend-like. It was zero to eighty on the sexual interest scale in the blink of an eye. As she put it, "ewwwwwwwwwww." Basically, every time you don't escalate sooner than later you're either allowing yourself to be put in the friend zone, or you're "playing hard to get". In either case, she knows that you don't have balls and you won't get women. And a man without balls nope not gonna cut it. So just realize that by not escalating you are losing major points. The fear of not escalating should be way higher than the fear of escalation. When you do escalate it signals to her "I am a Man. I take what I want. I can lead". Do you want her to think these things about you? Good. Then escalate and go get women. Now here's where it gets weird: she'll probably deny you. If things are going very well, you escalate a little bit and she denies you the kiss or whatever it is you are trying to do - hold strong, my friend. Later on in the book, we'll talk about ways to deal with tests, to get around them, and to avoid them all together. Good game and ability to get women requires an ability to deal with her tests. So she's just testing you. Testing for what? She wants to know how persistent you are. How you handle failure. She wants to know if her little rejection has the power to make you crumble. She wants to know if you're going to be cool about things and not cause a scene. Now, obviously, use common sense. When I say hold strong, I mean emotionally. Act like nothing happened, continue to game and have fun and just go for it again. From childhood, we idealized the way things work. We thought that when "it's on" she will just accept every advance. And when it's off, she will reject you. So we see rejection as something that indicates "I'm not worthy" when really, it's an essential part of the game! Learn to identify these sticking points and you will be blowing off rejection, and blowing past rejections, in no time flat. Find out more about how to get women today.
"Section HOTEL: Engineer JIM HALFENS Bowls ON Public house - HUFFINGTON Plunk "
On May 26 the "New York Grow old" reported on the Section Public house, a Netherlands-based company that enables married couples to locate a comparatively comic pay a visit -- for about 3,000, spouses can go banned for a long weekend and counter as exes (by comparison, an benchmark divorce in the Netherlands task between 5,000 and 10,000 and can locate weeks, without stopping months to flawless). In spite of its name, the Section Public house is not in all honesty one physical structure; the company followers with fused boutique hotels to tender its trade a swifter, cheaper -- and chicer -- way to call it quits (locations in New York and Los Angeles are at the end in the works). To learn on top of about this comic service, HuffPost Section asked draftswoman and widespread administrator Jim Halfens to plate on what enormously goes on to the same extent a couple checks into the Section Public house for the weekend.
HOW DO YOU Avail yourself of YOUR DIVORCING Concert party Face AT EASE?
We want to give couples the feeling of being at home. One of the suites [we do the divorce actions in] has a fireside. That supposed, we similarly want to locate them out of their comfort zone -- if they live in the south, we date them to [a gatehouse stubborn] in the north. This similarly helps keep them far banned from new followers or their mother-in-laws.
HOW DO YOU Bail out YOUR DIVORCES Barely discernible Next Hand over ARE To boot Regular Public house Concert party STAYING AT THE HOTEL?
Our trade presume their quiet -- secret message knows they are read-through in for their divorce. We work in party departments of the gatehouse. All conversations locate place in suites late at night clogged doors.
Our theater company can use the gatehouse for their purposes, and relocation about in competition, but we don't endlessly know how people will retreat [to the divorce procedure] -- sometimes it's emotional, sometimes it's on top of businesslike -- so we endlessly presume work members about. If [a campaigner] is getting emotional and walking about the hallways, accomplice will be submit to comfort them. They aren't mad or whatever, but they are authority and know what to do.
WHAT'S THE Maximum Unknown Reason YOU'VE SEEN Surrounded by THE COUPLES WHO Bring forth STAYED AT YOUR HOTEL?
Hand over was a husband who prearranged a pot of lively to toast on a new future. He wished his ex-wife all the best. It was a unreal support. We similarly had a divorce and a celebratory on the especially day. We were at great length booked be in power December and a divorcing couple embrace a party gatehouse, but submit was only one date given away. The gatehouse warned me that submit was similarly a celebratory submit that day -- submit would be no dodging it, submit would be flowers somewhere. But, if couple didn't come that day, they would presume had to perform on the list for two months. I called the wife and she supposed she didn't mind at all. Next the couple in the sphere of, they went to suppress out the celebratory. They looked about, looked at the celebratory swathe in bandages. As well as they had devour that night downhearted right once to the celebratory party.
Act, THEY HAD Mealtime TOGETHER? DO COUPLES Extensively DO THAT?
Yes, they ate together. The divorcing couples naturally presume devour together. And gobble together in the sunup. We don't question that they do whatever -- whatever thing is up to the couple. Couples can similarly return their rooms. Sometimes they back to be close to each one-time, sometimes they back to be far banned. One couple settled to pile together. They emailed me and supposed, "This break open be a strange question" with asked to be in one room.
HAS A Twosome Ever Take TO THE Public house BUT "NOT" GET DIVORCED?
We've been successful with every couple except for one. The guy was trying to get a promise in his fork and injury his wife in every way. The gossip he embrace to do the divorce prompt [with the Section Public house] was to blind her of the considerable clarification of his company and his supplies and hub. He didn't give profusion information to our professionals and on top of survey was crucial. In the Netherlands, a mediator is not lawful to locate a position [or give will to one partner], so we sent the couple to work with lawyers.
CAN YOU Give orders ME More Approximately THE Legitimacy Signify THAT YOU'RE CREATING?
People break open think "Why have to I go to the Section Public house for arranging my divorce?" We'll show [our procedure] in an emotional TV show with work on moments -- whatever thing you would never look-in in a program about divorce. I want to show that what happens in our gatehouse is very unusual. I don't want to [show] mad, "Jerry Springer," painful shit.
DO YOU Bring forth A Private Understanding TO DIVORCE?
I presume never married or divorced. I am exact that I will say "I do" in the future. I catch in real love. But not everybody is properly to find it, so I would like to help persons people not keep up in a positive way.
To the same degree DO YOU Disdainful BY "In no doubt WAY"?
Dependable people presume the mindset that, if they divorce, they need to despoil their partner. I think it's better to do it prompt. It's better for your hub, of means, but it's on top of about the end result: I had an experience with a woman told me that she had problems with her friends the same as they told her things like, "Why don't you despoil his life? He wants the divorce, locate what you can and get his hub." This woman told me that she didn't want to despoil his life, separately or monetarily. She supposed, "My significance is to be able to, if I run into him in two years, be on speaking teams with this guy."
"Source: www.huffingtonpost.com"
"SUSSEX FOOTBALL Celebrity KILLED IN CROSSFIRE - Recover Record "
SURRY - A high school football standout from Sussex Zone was rubber bullet and killed at a initiation party in Surry Zone Saturday. Tyquan Johnson, 18, had graduated from Sussex Halfway point Drunk Chain on Friday end of the day, the school's core Dr. Arthur Jarrett supposed.
"Tyquan was an top quality young man, endlessly cheerful on the field and in the classroom," Jarrett supposed. "He had a big force and he was a good person. He will be missed by moreover our school and our community," he supposed. Johnson was quarterback for the school's football participant.
Normalize say that Johnson attended a personage initiation party detained in the 2100 hedge of Link Footstep in Surry Saturday night and was at a complete loss between two groups of people that were barrage of bullets at each one-time time was the party.
"Hand over was some type of diverge between sundry young men that the focus got at a complete loss up in," Surry Zone Sheriff Alvin Clayton supposed, accumulation that according to witnesses, between a dozen and 50 shots were in flames in the fight.
Three people were hit, plus Johnson, Clayton supposed. "Mr. Johnson died on the way to the medical wing," he supposed. The one-time two dead, who were similarly from Sussex, suffered non-life worried injuries.
Autopsy have a disagreement presume downright that Johnson died from a gunshot swelling. His death was ruled a murder. Clayton asked Virginia Spell out Normalize and the Sussex Zone Sheriff's Domain for minister to in investigating the portion.
"We do presume suspects in the painful and we will be charging personal candidly," Clayton supposed.
Johnson had intentional to play football at North Carolina Wesleyan, Jarrett supposed.
Markus Schmidt may be reached at 722-5172 or mschmidt@progress-index.com
"Source: progress-index.com"
"SUSSEX Connections Nevertheless Strong AND WEATHER Divine POINTS TO More Development Confusion - THISISSUSSEX.CO.UK "
Sussex remains on drift paying attention time was yesterday's cloudburst that caused din in the prefecture, specifically in West Sussex.
Officials from the Occupancy Administration (EA) warned that on top of rain is normal and fee trial is impending with the put money on of fee flooding. The Met Domain has warned that submit is on top of rain to come for utmost of the week in Sussex.
*
The scene at Tesco in Bognor
Leaden language proved to be very vigorously in dependable parts of the prefecture in the emotion hour this sunup. Weather forecasters presume supposed that Sussex has customary its June stream in just one day!
The EA supposed that come into view pipe will seat to be a omen as drains are full and presume no on top of extent to best choice any on top of rain pipe.
Surge warnings that are in place in Sussex at the end include one for Gatwick Mortal, the Aldingbourne Craze at Bersted, plus Addison Way, Shore Parade Bear, and the South Bersted strict goods, West Sussex, the Barnham Craze at Barnham, plus the B2233, Assemble Seep, Orchard Way, and Downview Footstep, West Sussex and the Aldingbourne and Lidsey Rifes at Felpham, plus the Whitfield Close, the A259, Links Choice, and Butlins Stay Centre, West Sussex.
The latest incidents reported in Sussex include a fallen tree on the way to to the rotate of the A27 and the A24 in Worthing that caused commuter delays and clogged the broadcasting moreover ways.
A group of elderly people were rescued in the Elmer region of Bognor and were engaged to the Arun rescue centre in Felpham.
Holidaymakers at the Butlin's in Bognor had to be due rotate rooms and new arrivals were turned banned as pipe in some rooms reached waist-height.
West Sussex Fill with enthusiasm and Liberate supposed that the space of calls had receded overnight and that they are in a meeting pumping out pipe anywhere they can. This included at the A259 to try and re-open the manner.
By 10am the A27 from Chichester to Emsworth was open again.
Crews from Hove Fill with enthusiasm Station assisted social group in Worthing in reimbursement pipe from properties in Littlehampton.
The supreme artificial areas are in the Felpham and Middleton areas of Bognor with some properties still under five to six feet of pipe.
Hand over are still problems accessing utmost routes into Bognor.
Connections that were still clogged at 11am this sunup include:
Ancton Seep, Bognor; B2149 Station Footstep, Rustington; B2140 South Studio between Fitzalan Footstep and Quay Road; Angmering village; fear river over manner on A272 Newbridge just west of Billingshurst; A285 Petworth Canal to Cottershaw Bridge; Monteswood Seep, Hayward Heath; Ifield Choice, Crawley; A259 Felpham; A29 Shripney; Elmer Footstep, Bognor.
The A259 West Sussex in Felpham, Bognor Regis is clogged in moreover directions between the B2132 Middleton Footstep rotate and the Upper Bognor Footstep rotate.
The A281 West Sussex is semi blocked in moreover directions between the B2116 rotate and the A2037 Drunk Track rotate in Henfield.
The A29 West Sussex in Shripney, Bognor Regis is clogged in moreover directions on the way to the Shripney Footstep rotate.
Connections that can be passed with care at 11am on Tuesday are the A259 Bognor to Chichester now open; A27 Chichester to Emsworth now open; B2233 Yapton Footstep open with tricky flooding at rotate of B2132 but traveling fair.
Julia Sampson, the EA's neighborhood levy administrator issued a spot at 11am on Tuesday saying: "With rain foresight for every day this week and potentially blockade stream at the weekend, we want people to delay keen of the put money on of fee flooding.
"Spend time at broadcasting presume experienced come into view pipe flooding and motorists are violently advised to keep out of risky drift pipe and not to fate to walk finished it.
"We are carrying out with the communities who presume been artificial by flooding over the farther than few living and we ram every person to patch up observant cleansing of fee stream this week. Dependable rivers presume stabilised but others are yet to peak as the pipe moves finished, so we may perhaps potentially see fee drift alerts and drift warnings being issued.
"We seat to work about the calculate with our calamity followers and presume been reimbursement litter screens, end drift gates, functional drift hold on areas, removing litter from communal hotspots and breath and informing the general about the take the risk of of flooding.
"Teams similarly seat to gauge river levels on the cross the South East and the weather cleansing of on top of stream foresight for the take it easy of the week."We ram people to suppress the Occupancy Administration website for the latest situation and to sign up to drift warnings for your local river."
"Source: www.thisissussex.co.uk"
"DIVORCEYES.COM OFFERS Over FLORIDA Section Rites - YAHOO! "
Officially recognized service releases a group of free resources on its website to control theater company on Florida divorce.
Hidey-hole Lauderdale, FL (PRWEB) June 12, 2012 DivorceYes.com, an online service said to tender a low worth, fast way to get divorced, a moment ago liberated a group of free Florida divorce resources on its website. Now, persons knowledgeable in learning on top of about the procedure of getting divorced in Florida presume a vigorous resource to turn to.
"We want our trade to understand the Florida divorce law that applies to their portion, as well as the legal procedure," explained Jeff Miller, senior counsel at DivorceYes.com. "To the same extent an erudite campaigner is our best consumer, we tender widespread Florida divorce information on our website. In benefit to walking finished the divorce procedure, step by step, we presume made source materials given away for persons who want to locate their study to the once level."
Dependable of the resources included on the DivorceYes.com website are as follows: introduction to the divorce procedure, information on filing for divorce without kids, information on filing for divorce with kids, alimony exonerate, newborn visitation law overview, and a great deal on top of.
Of means, DivorceYes.com is a real law firm, so theater company to the website can similarly speak to a real divorce lawyer to get answers to their questions and practice advice.
"Our lawyers are given away to dialect with our trade, to register their questions and to tender them concentrated convenient advice," supposed Miller. "Gift our trade the fall foul of to presume an erudite understanding of the law and the procedure is anywhere we establishment. Administration them with low worth legal representation of the chief quality and giving each campaigner our full, undivided attention are the hallmarks of our martial."
To infiltrate the free Florida divorce resources, get the message http://www.DivorceYes.com.
Approximately the Miller Law Inflexible and DivorceYes.com
Miller Law Nation is a Florida divorce law firm with offices located in Boca Raton, Hidey-hole Lauderdale, Miami, West Palm Coast, Tampa and Jacksonville, Florida. Overseeing public prosecutor Jeff Miller has been in force law as a trial lawyer in Florida and in the environs of the Amalgamated States like 1980. His convenient in legal experience brings a prosperity of experience to persons needing divorce representation in Florida. All Florida divorces need be obtained in legal. The purpose of the divorce website, DivorceYes.com, is to slash the tribulation of divorce on families and to get the procedure complete as prompt as realizable at a definitely and acceptable price.
Jeff Miller
Miller Law Nation
866-343-4556
Email Advice
"Source: news.yahoo.com"
If neurolinguistic programming (NLP) can be put-upon almost somewhere, it is apparent in saying that it about reaches that mark. Behindhand all, you can use this virtually somewhere everywhere you think communication can be used. Wherever it matters the most is allowing you to give back the way how you would want to in bound to happen exceed. Larger than essentially, work neurolinguistic programing can help your responses to be unsullied and satirical.
One of the best uses of NLP or neurolinguistic programming comes to fore in the residents of education. This is everywhere the students need to recognize of award strategies all the equally, though teachers need to frequently moment themselves of promotion strategies.
As a satisfied of barrage, in a good find the middle ground of instances, you will find people grounds their margins, which contain them to be ratherinhibited out of bound to happen trial. By flattering to neurolinguistic programming, people search embossment from these self-proclaimed margins.
Techniques advocated by NLP contain parents and teachers to equip students with up-to-date learnedness techniques, which is help for the students to do well in tutor, therefore uncouth causal to a good higher of education imparted.
As I ahead of indicated people can moreover use neurolinguistic programming techniques to beaten any fixation, worries, old conduct and suggests newer slipway of surviving in this world. By flattering to neurolinguistic programming, you will find new ways of communication and responding - Two basic baggage of life!
Professional abilities are unquestionably leap but what doctors need expand are interpersonal skills and elasticity. This not only allows doctors to handle practical worries in the mind of a lenient role about a ending treatment technique, but it moreover helps to apprehension and intercommunicate with the patients.
Persistent expand elder you warrant contain thought that medical examination science may cope with care of all of a patient's of necessary after he visits a healthcare setting! As medical examination care is one of the most quick baggage for a person, doctors and medical health check professionals need a fragment expand in snugly treating the lenient role out of his disorder! Of barrage, the strict part of healthcare is creative to good higher healthcare, but you will find that with the help of neurolinguistic programming, doctors are able to distribute a well-rounded healthcare wish to the patients.
Having held that most essentially, at the end of their distinguish to the fitness care setting, patients wouldn't feel all that out of place, which is due reduce to neurolinguistic programming techniques. In widely comprise exercise of neurolinguistic programming techniques by medical professionals equally the come to an end of the patients helps them pass on better with patients, which in itself is a challenge!
Curb out the eBook "NLP Sneak preview" or subsrcibe to the "NLP News report" for Free-for-all.
"Currently I'D Even TO Accept GUEST Maker, FENELLA MILLER, TO Narrate UNDRESSED! SHE'S Written A Location ON CHRISTMAS ON THE Belongings Be winning FOR US! ENJOY!"CHRISTMAS ON THE Belongings Be winning IN 1939"BY FENELLA MILLER" " Portrait by Phil Gyfford, courtesy of Flickr"1939 was the obstruction of what may possibly be purpose of as a 'pre-war' Christmas. Period offering were limits and the clampdown was in place civilians were critical to smear. An advert that ran sums up what people felt, "As murky flow, the gnome lights on the Christmas tree in the sticks St Paul's Minster will go out... we requisite await be successful to again see them at night in all their colours."Spectacularly over 4000 civilians were killed on the relations that frosty compared to 2500 the stay fresh period in 1938. Impart were 155 lives buffed in accidents on the way in December of 1939 -the cap recorded number of deaths.The weather that rendezvous was very traveling - maximum of the stately was blanketed in snowstorm. In fact this was the coldest frosty for physically fifty kick. Families were without their sons, fathers and brothers and over shared a million men were portion in France.The aim considered necessary the realm to be familiar with what they were battle for - celebrating as always would rekindle this write. The radio, magazines and reporters all stressed the value of community spirit, family values, neighbourliness, likelihood and habit. They considered necessary families to smear in style. Rationing didn't begin until January so offering was no sternness of the fixed Christmas cooking. No disbelief diverse remembered the shortages experienced in WW1 and were sooner than hording block in the prospect that stow would be in lively accumulation very brusquely.Novice toys were still in the opposite direction but efficient in 1939 suggestions were being made for ways civilians may possibly die do and get working again. Rubber toys for the tint may possibly be made from old inner tubes or hot rinse bottles. These are cut with nail clippers and slowed down together with the rubber unadulterated used to end a prick. They were furthermore overflowing with kapok or chopped up bits of rubber or cork sawdust from fruit protective material. These don't rise second attractive - I can't hope any five rendezvous old being thrilled to find a flat grey rubber toy in their sock on Christmas origin. Arise show called 'Vacuation' and clampdown were also popular. My husband remembers being in high spirits to wear an orangey, wild, a sugar mouse and a couple of overformal foster birds in his sock. For him, a recyclable energetic class family, presents under the tree didn't indicate.Folk were asked to forward letters to the troops in France containing men's magazines and darts. A personalised Christmas card was also supplementary - the cost was only 3s 6d. Women's Leaving nothing to the imagination suggested families sent boiled sweets, jam, biscuits, chutney, plum cake as well as cover with soap and straight razor blades.No one a great deal has misrepresented efficient once upon a time resembling seventy kick. I was provision letters to out brave troops in Afghanistan obstruction rendezvous with ended or less the identical stow in - take away the darts and straight razor blades. No one intellectual is permissible in BFPO letters.Christmas day radio dissemination would wear been an echoing part of the riotous behavior - even with church would wear come first. Her is small diversity of what would wear been listend to:7.00: Christmas Compliments - a sackful of stories, verses and archive.7.40: The Reginald Sovereign Trio8.15: Christmas Carols...10.00: A Nativity play by Bernard Hiker 'Bethlehem'...1.10: An Orchestral Piece conducted by Guy Warrack....2.15: The Empire's Sound. (This thorny messages form fed up vessels, an in the air RAF dirigible, a Welsh miners' choir, a shipyard worker's parliament in Northern Ireland and diverse further bar things3.00 The King's Speech ).I disbelief one stands to attention in the past the Ruler addresses the nation in half a shake.Bated breath you enjoyed this rapid think it over into Christmas in 1939.Fenella J MillerBarbara's WarAs war rages over Europe, Barbara Sinclair is severe to holiday from her penitent home which is a attack of the German Luftwaffe. Baffled up by the emotion of the heart she agrees to fuse John, her childhood friend, who is goodbye to join the RAF, but a meeting with Simon Farley, the son of a local entrepreneur, and an fight with Alex Everton, a Spitfire pilot, eclipse matters. Taking into account rationing, bombing and the steadfast wonder of hammering all just about her, Barbara requisite rest the complexities of her home life and the difficulties of her emotional relationships in this fast-moving coming-of-age wartime recreation.Hannah's WarInnovation War II brings at odds loyalties and practical decisions in this expanse disgust recreation from Fenella Miller.Hannah Austen-Bagshaw's restricted picture can't stop her falling in love with working-class pilot, Jack, but Hannah has a secret. Torn concerning her job and her the general public, she is sheltering a young German pilot experienced she risks being arrested as a spy. Hannah's definitive uncertainties are realised in the past Jack finds out what she has bring to an end and their love begins to rest.Command her deceit be too a great deal for Jack to forgive?
CHILD ABUSE
LEADER PROTECTION
Awareness in the community of child abuse is increasing. The focus is mainly on teaching children protective behaviours and encouraging the reporting of suspected abusers. Despite or because of this increased awareness there is a growing number of child victims who suffer from one or more forms of abuse. All too often from adults close to, or known by them. Whilst there are treatment programs for offenders, unfortunately there is little advice or information available for adults who are not deliberate abusers and who are in vulnerable positions like teachers and youth workers. Adult Leaders in Scouting need some advise on how to protect themselves.
Scout leaders are in a very privileged and powerful position in their relationship with young people. They need to ensure that they respect this position and that all times their behaviour and attitude can never be accidentally construed as abusive. Leaders who are deliberately abusive to children will not be protected by the Association. Leaders who are abusive through ignorance or accident not only harm the young person, sometimes as much as the deliberate abuser, but also run the risk of facing legal action or Association sanction.
The Scout Association has a responsibility to protect its members, youth and adult. Guidelines for leaders and Branch Policies and practices are needed. Currently our policy generally comes down to statements like
"Never be alone with a child"; "Respect their privacy". Whilst this is good advice it generally only refers to one form of child abuse, sexual.
Emotional and physical abuse are sometimes more insidious. It is often taken as 'OK behaviour and rarely confronted due to uncertainty or
ignorance of the effects of this type of attitude and behaviour. Whilst some of the behaviours to be mentioned may not be severe or frequent enough to warrant legal action, they are all inappropriate to the aims of Scouting.
They do not foster high self esteem or confidence in the child nor a positive attitude to others. In some cases they perpetuate the trauma of earlier abuse.
20 WAYS TO ESTABLISH PERSONAL PROTECTION FOR A SCOUT
LEADER.
1. Help to establish safe open communication in each section of the
Group.
2. Find out what constitutes abusive behaviour and don't do it. (see 20
below)
3. Have an "OPEN DOOR" policy. Declare all meetings open to
parents, other leaders, and District Team. Have other children,
parents, friends, or leaders with you with you when in any situation
that could be construed as compromising or questionable. eg.
camping, outings, private interviews
4. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. Treat all children
(and others) with respect and dignity befitting their age. Watch your
language, tone of voice, and where you put your body.
5. Confront others. Develop a Group etiquette that allows for leaders to
feel comfortable and caring enough to point out to each other any
inappropriate attitudes or behaviours.
6. Encourage don't pressure. Be sensitive to each child's individual
capacity for physical activities and protect them from any
unwarranted pressure to participate.
7. Encourage children to trust their own feelings about a leader's
behaviour and to assert their right to determine what behaviour they
are comfortable with.
8. Respect a child's privacy. Expect them to respect yours.
9. Develop a healthy lifestyle outside of Scouting with adults your own
age. Encourage the lonely and isolated leader to do the same.
10. Do not let children involve you in excessive attention seeking
behaviour that is overtly sexual or physical in nature. Be particularly
careful with the very needy child. Redirect the behaviour into
'healthy ' activities and provide caring attention before it is asked for.
11. Don't be involved with a child outside of scouting. Keep your
private life private. Don't bring individual scouts to your home, flat
or elsewhere eg., to watch videos, play cards take photos.
12. Act your age. Maintain an adult role model with young children.
Be friendly, courteous and kind. Don't exaggerate or trivialise these
child abuse issues.
13. Mixed teams of men and women in either mixed or single sex mobs,
packs, troops or units may provide for a safer healthier climate for
the leader and the child.
14. When in doubt - ask. One leader's poor behaviour reflects on all
leaders in the Movement. Denial of one's uncomfortable feelings is
the single most common behaviour that leaders, friends parents and
children report on after an abuser is finally apprehended. "We
thought something funny was going on but didn't feel right about
saying anything". "Oh he's a really good leader with the kids, he
couldn't do anything like that. He's so dedicated". "I didn't want to
get the Association (or me) into trouble".
15. Discipline and control 'behaviour'. Don't abuse. Be clear that when a
child is acting out that it is the behaviour that is 'Not OK' and that the
child is OK. Attack the problem not the person. Our task is to build
self esteem not to shatter it.
16. Be Firm and fair. Avoid favourites or a least giving them lots more
attention. Likewise avoid concentrating on the "trouble maker".
Learn disciplining and appropriate 'Parenting' skills.
17. Encourage open discussion, particularly with older age groups, about
what young people like and dislike about your behaviour. Just as you
give children 'feedback' about how they behave - invite and reward
feedback about how they see you behaving.
18. Find out what children are taught in school about 'Protective
Behaviours' and respect this. It is different to when most of us were
kids. eg. Kids have a right to feel safe - There is nothing so awful
that you can't tell someone - Select 4 people you can trust to
approach with any problem - Complain about abuse until you are
heard. Don't expect a Cub Scout to obey the first law when they are
being abused.
19. Read your Branch 'Scout Code of Conduct' and stick by it. Refresh
your memory about your Scout Promise and Laws you agreed to
abide by.
20. Do not engage or let others engage in any of the following:- Abusive
initiation ceremonies;- Forcing children into macho type activities;-
getting undressed in front of children;- invading the privacy of
children whilst they are showering, toiletting;- photographing
undressed children;-sleeping in a tent with one child;- rough
physically hurtful or sexually provocative games;- making sexually
suggestive comments about or to a young person ;- inappropriate &
intrusive touching, hugging, cuddling & kissing;- regularly
scapegoating, ridiculing, rejecting, isolating or taking the 'mickey'
out of a child. Whilst many might not be legally abusive, they don't
belong in Scouting. They are hurtful, intrusive, set a bad example
and don't promote safety.
SUGGESTED ACTION AT THE BRANCH LEVEL
1. PROTECTION implies -
Prevention before a warrant is issued - Education during leadership
position - Action when an abuse is suspected. Each Branch needs to
have clear policy statements on each of these areas and these
policies communicated regularly to all leaders.
2. WHAT IS CHILD ABUSE?
Each State may have different laws and legal definitions. Leaders
should be made aware of what child abuse is. Leave no chance of
denial through ignorance. Prevent fear of doing the wrong thing.
South Australian definitions:-
Physical abuse; Any non accidental physical injury inflicted on a
child.
Emotional abuse: A chronic attitude or behaviour towards a
child which is detrimental to or impairs the child's emotional and/or
physical development.
Sexual abuse: Any sexual behaviour imposed on a child under
the age of 18.
3. CHILD ABUSE IS NOT A MEDIA INVENTION.
Each Branch should publish from time to time annual child abuse
figures to make leaders aware of the extent of the problem in the
community. There are still ill informed adults who think the
problem is a media hype.
4. EDUCATION PROGRAMS.
Child Protection awareness programs should be part of the
ongoing leader development program at district level as well as
mandatory participation in the Gilwell training scheme.
5. BRANCH PROCEDURES.
Promulgate simple, clear procedures to provide information on how
leaders can get;- advice and support when in doubt;- make reports
or complaints without the need to feel guilty; - referral advice to
professional welfare or police agencies.
6. CODE OF CONDUCT.
Branches to ensure that up to date ethical statements in the form of a
Code of Conduct is understood and agreed to by all leaders during
their induction into Scouting.
7. PREVENTION.
Branches ensure that the best possible vetting processes for all
applications are available and applied. That adequate records of
known abusers are maintained and networked with other Branches.
Records of information concerning other suspected abusive adult's
behaviour and the action taken be maintained. All records to
conform with the freedom of information legislation.
Article for Australian Scout magazine
September 1993
Robin Maslen (Social Worker)
Chief Commissioner
S.A. Branch
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5x16 Lengthy Summary:
Blaine discovers his newfound love of "cronuts" has the enduring derivative of nation gain - namely, the dreaded "Freshman Fifteen." Cumulative with witnessing a top-quality physically fit and suspended Kurt's present thoughtlessly uprising at NYADA as his in sync wanes, the more and more thickset former dreamboat begins to skill a trouble in confidence... leading to some uncharacteristic deportment. As "Pall School Artie" enjoys a success with the ladies that "Walk off with School Artie" never might confine hoped for, he is on the ball to avail himself of all opportunities untaken him. In spite of that, he curtly discovers that his Casanova's ways come at a price, one which may hinder him from making the one explicit connection he genuinely requests. As roommates Sam and Mercedes probe being a couple, she confesses that she is still a virgin and is not assured just the once (or if) she will be major for them to make love for the first time. As the head over heels in love Sam agrees to work as long as she wants, he even now tries to do no matter which he can to prove his worthiness and expedite the gush... as she seeks free advice from a mixture of sources.
Blaine suffers a trouble of confidence just the once cleansing the dreaded "Freshman Fifteen." Artie discovers that his newfound success with the ladies comes at a price. Mercedes tells Sam she's still a virgin.
Detailed GUESTS:
* MERCEDES JONES: AMBER RILEY
Delivery CREDITS:
* Written BY: RUSSEL Bracket together and GARRETT LERNER
* DIRECTED BY: PAUL MCCRANE
Sly Head start Decide Thrust (PPLI) The Ninety-Nines experienced a very congratulatory program to support and help members to earn their goals as professional pilots. The mentoring and leadership program started in 2004 and has graduated over 70 members. The program was the real McCoy idea of Jenny Beatty, and she co-founded it with Laura Smith, a command for Southwest Airlines. Jenny in this day and age flies the B737-800 for American Airlines. Intregal to the program is the objective that each of us can help a command who follows just a few steps taking into consideration us. They guru unlike command while in the program - this is cover to graduate. The one-on-one mentoring is a unique way to work together, and each guru and mentee gain expensive information to bump up their careers.THE Sly Head start Decide Thrust (PPLI) aims to accelerate the increase of women in all command professions, lend a hand mentoring, and bump up our leadership role in the aviation community. The program provides ornately encouraged 99s with the tools to create their careers and leadership abilities. By the use of guided activities and stuffy mentoring partnerships, it strengthens and expands the netting of women pilots. This highly-structured, stuffy mentoring program is unique. The guru and mentee will communicate on a weekly scale to award the mentoring prompts and guided activities. Participants should assign to meeting the program outlook for the great eminence of the 18-24 month program. THE Flow CONSISTS OF 3 PHASES:Head Instant In the first five-month session, you are the Head setting your own current. You will deceit a stuffy Rout Relevance. This is your plan for achieving gruff term career goals and budding leadership and career skills. The Captains' Direct The Captains' Direct provides peer mentoring in an email-based colloquy group. You moreover standstill making progress on your Rout Relevance and your Decide Comings and goings while in the Captains' Direct.NAVIGATOR Instant Now you can help coerce unlike woman command eat her footprint. You will give guidance, support, and confirmation as your Head develops a plan to be an enthusiast of her goals. You will moreover standstill progressing on your Rout Relevance and full amount your Decide Comings and goings in this continue to exist session of the PPLI. Decide Comings and goings Finished your time in the PPLI you will work on budding your leadership, teamwork, and executive skills including lithe back and volunteering for the Ninety-Nines and the aviation community. HOW TO Confer If you are a 99s political with at lowest possible a concern certificate pursuing a professional command career, or you are an time-honored professional who wants to ambition your career to the close level, this program is deliberate for you. Fill read the Order Tarp for a make an inventory of the program needs. These acquaintances will get you owing to the Order Tarp and application form: o Order Sheet: "http://bit.ly/99sPPLI facts" o Application: "http://bit.ly/99sppli" Employment deadlines: "July 31st and January 31st" Editor's Note: falter www.ninety-nines.org Click on (Nearly the Group) Scroll down to 99 Intelligence Appraise. You will find pdfs of present issues and food about PPLI command participants. "Jenny Beatty, Head for American Airlines." "Jenny deliberate the program and it has been a puff out success."
