The appalling statistics of male:female ratios in most Indian states is a matter of considerable public debate and concern. Today-Raksha Bandhan- there is a particularly poignant story in the papers, of a village in Rajasthan where the 10 girls will tie rakhis on the wrists of all the young men, some 250 of them, since none of the boys have sisters. Surviving, at any rate... With these numbers, it is perhaps just as well that Article 377 has recently been quashed!At the same time, the overall invisibility of women is another matter of concern. Invisible Women, Visible Histories: Gender, Society and Polity in North India (VII to XII Century AD) by Devika Rangachari is a recent publication from Manohar that examines history from a gendered viewpoint, studying "the early medieval period in north India through a study of prominent - but representative - regional kingdoms located in Kashmir, Kanauj and across Bengal and Bihar. The book shows that the role and status of women differed considerably according to their regional contexts. The picture, therefore, is not a unifies one, thereby stressing the fact that sweeping statements on women cannot be made to apply to early medieval north India as a whole. The pivotal importance of gender in any historical reconstructions of the early medieval period in north India is thereby underscored."Rawat Jaipur, one of the major publishers in the social sciences, have a number of books that examine such questions. For instance Bhaswati Das and Vimal Khawas (Eds.) volume, Gender issues in Development: Concerns for the 21st century. "Gender issues are wide and spread over the entire gamut of development. Over the decades it appeared to be the most intriguing for development plans. The present book, which is an outcome of a national seminar, held under the auspices of Council for Social Development, New Delhi, is an attempt to look into the gender issues involved in different development activities. The contributors are drawn from different social science backgrounds such as economics, sociology, demography, geography and anthropology. This is done purposely to have perspectives of all these disciplines in one single book."Sangeeta Bharadwaj-Badal, in her Gender, Social Structure and Empowerment: Status Report of Women in India asks the all important question, " Is the persistence of female-male gaps in human development in India indicative of the low status assigned to women in that cultural setting? Are the various gender ideologies rooted in the different kinship structures leading to a subordinate status of women in India? Does economic development interact with kinship patterns to produce spatial variations in gender relations in India? Do these structural processes affect women's status differently in different parts of India? In other words, does place play a role in the constitution of gender differences in India? The book focuses on the mutual interdependence of gender relations, development levels, and social stratification without underestimating the full significance of each in Indian society.The earlier narrow focus that considered status as a unitary construct and sought a universal explanation of the low status of women has been replaced in this work by a multidimensional view that argues for conceptualizing status broadly in terms of its economic, social and political dimensions. The contrasting performance of specific states/districts on each dimension clearly indicates that the dynamic and variable nature of women's status cannot be captured by any one dimension. It is observed that women's status is affected by kinship structures, development levels and social stratification, which vary over space and time individually and in interaction with each other. It is this variation that leads to differences in women's position from one region of India to another."The Sage list on Gender issues is as diverse and as interesting. Prem Chowdhury's edited Gender discrimination in land ownership "analyzes the different degrees of discrimination meted out to women by the country^as inheritance laws and the corresponding customary practices in tribal societies. It also exposes the current socio-legal structure in the country, which systematically denies women the accessibility to and ownership of productive resources.This book is eleventh in the series ^aLand Reforms in India^a, initiated by the Lal Bahadur Shastri National Academy of Administration, Mussoorie. The volume contains 14 well-researched chapters through which distinguished scholars look into the discrimination faced by women in various states of India. Highlighting the fact that different regions subject women to varied forms of discrimination, these chapters reveal that these emanate from various customs and practices, Shastric prescriptions and the Muslim personal laws (Shariat) which were crystallized during the British regime and further consolidated in the post-colonial period through various union, state and concurrent laws."And finally, Living the Body: Embodiment, Womanhood and Identity in Contemporary India by Meenakshi Thapan which "explores the development of a sociology of embodiment in the context of women^as lives in contemporary, urban India. Through a critical analysis of gender and class, the author unravels the complexities that are intrinsic to the multi-layered and fluid construction of woman^as identity in relation to embodiment. LIVING THE BODY: EMBODIMENT, WOMANHOOD AND IDENTITY IN CONTEMPORARY INDIA is the first book that unfolds an understanding of women^as experience of embodiment by a careful analysis of the facts gathered from an Indian metropolis. The author brings out numerous voices representing multiple subjectivities through interviews of working class slum women, professional upper class women, adolescent young women in secondary schools and in a slum, and the visual and textual representation of women in a women^as magazine in English."In our Gender Studies section.Invisible Women, Visible Histories, Rs 1295, hardcover, 532 pages, ISBN: 9788173048081Gender issues in Development, Rs 750, hardcover, 328 pages, ISBN: 9788131601914Gender, Social Structure & Empowerment Rs 625, hardcover 232 pages, ISBN: 9788131602393Gender discrimination in land ownership Rs 795, hardcover 352 pages, ISBN:9788178299426Living the Body Rs 550, Hardcover 220 pages, ISBN: 9788178299013
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OVER THE YEARS I HAVE BEEN PRACTICING COUNSELING IN SAN DIEGO, I have helped many couples recognize and repair relationship issues, which has subsequently allowed them to rekindle the romance in their relationship and strengthen the bond between them. Through the process of COUPLES COUNSELING, I have noticed that there tends to be four common, recurring trends, which I refer to as "relationship ingredients". These key "ingredients" allow for a successful and fulfilling partnership. The first two are things that you can do to encourage a healthy relationship with your partner, while the latter two are things you should avoid doing in your relationship. I will name and describe these four ingredients below, which I encourage you to practice and work on with your partner in between RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING sessions. Ingredient #1: Acceptance and Validation Feeling accepted and having your actions validated by your spouse or partner are important components of any relationship. Everyone likes to feel as though their behaviors are meaningful and effective, and by frequently validating your partner, you are sending a message to him/her that what they are doing is acceptable and valuable to you. Whether you are in a long-term relationship or are married, accepting one another is a key ingredient to your relationship's overall success. For instance, if you have perhaps gained a little unwanted weight (which tends to happen over the holiday season!), your partner can show acceptance by saying something like: "Well, I still think you look great" or "It doesn't matter to me if you've gained or lost weight - you're still you". This displays to the recipient that you are accepted for who you are, regardless of what you may look like on the outside. Keep in mind, however, that acceptance doesn't always have to be about appearance - there are many other ways in which you can demonstrate validation and acceptance in your relationship with your partner. In my COUNSELING experience I have noticed that conflicts in relationships often begin when one partner fails to validate or accept the other. Things such as criticism or devaluing another's actions or behaviors can, in turn, weaken the bonds in your relationship. While certainly it is unreasonable to expect validation and acceptance"all" of the time in your relationship (since after all we are humans who make errors from time to time), the majority of your interactions with your spouse should be positive and include components that validate and display unconditional acceptance of his/her behavior, actions, and choices. Doing so will strengthen the number of positive interactions in your relationship, which will subsequently strengthen your relationship overall. One tip which I always suggest is to try to focus on positive things your partner is doing, and speak to those behaviors. For example, you could say something like: "I really appreciate that you took it upon yourself to tidy the house today". This not only shows that you noticed your partner's positive behavior, but that you are acknowledging and praising it. Doing so will make your partner feel good about himself/herself and also more likely to repeat the desired behavior in the future. Keep in mind that your validating and accepting remarks should be genuine and from the heart. Don't say something just for the sake of saying it. Mean what you say and say what you mean! "INGREDIENT #2: FEELING INFLUENTIAL" We all enjoy feeling like causal agents over another's behavior, particularly our partner's behavior. However, being influential is different from being pushy and wanting things done your way all the time. You can be positively influential by encouraging your partner to behave in a certain way which benefits you both. Being pushy or demanding takes away from the overall relationship dynamic and hinders (rather than helps) the bond between you and your partner. To be influential does not mean that we have to force our partner to agree with everything we think or say all the time. Instead, we can be influential by politely stating what we believe and by knowing that regardless of whether our partner agrees, he/she has heard what we have said. Remember, your partner is exactly that: a partner. The two of your should be on the same team and fighting for the same common goal. If you are constantly butting heads and not listening to one another, conflict is inevitable and could even be detrimental to the survival of your relationship. You may state your beliefs, opinions, and perspectives respectfully, keeping in mind that your partner does not always have to agree with you. However, as long as he/she is listening to you and being respectful of your thoughts in return, you can still feel satisfied knowing that your partner has given serious thought to what you have said and taken your perspective into consideration. By doing so, you can still be influential without being pushy and causing conflict. For example, even if you don't agree with what your partner has said to you, you could say something like: "While I'm still unsure about how I'm going to handle this problem, I've been thinking about what you have said and considering your thoughts", or "While I disagree with you about "I agree with you about". The aforementioned statements show validation, acceptance, and consideration of your partner's thoughts and feelings. In a relationship, you are never going to agree on every little thing 100% of the time, but there are definitely ways in which you can listen to one another and feel as though what you have said matters. This is the key to being and feeling influential in your relationship. "INGREDIENT #3: AVOID STATING THE OBVIOUS" In any relationship or partnership, it usually causes conflict when one partner "states the obvious" to the other partner. Doing this can be interpreted as "rubbing it in" or nagging. For instance, telling your spouse something that he/she already knows can be irritating to the recipient of these comments, and will often cause a response that is clouded with anger, frustration, or complete withdrawal. It is very easy to let our own frustrations about something our partner has (or has not) done affect our interactions with our partner about these things. Most of the time, we cannot help ourselves and end up using "you should have" or "you could have" statements. Remember, remarks like this are unhelpful and often counterproductive, particularly in situations where it is too late to correct what has already been done. A good example of stating the obvious is the common: "You should have just pulled over and asked for directions like I told you to because now we're lost". Just about everyone finds themselves in this situation at some point. However, if the two of you are lost while driving, chances are you are both already frustrated and angry.Therefore, saying something that includes the phrase "you should have" typically adds fuel to the already-burning fire. Emotions are heightened, tempers are flaring, and you are sitting there stating the obvious and pointing out your partner's mistakes when he/she is already upset and probably knows deep down that he/she has screwed up. This is not to say that you are not allowed to feel angry or frustrated yourself, but instead you could express your feelings differently and in such a way that it does not come across as a personal attack to your partner. Doing so will likely avoid conflicts and arguments, and possibly even deescalate the problem. Using the above example with the directions, this could be re-phrased as: "It is frustrating that we're lost, but we could always pull into this plaza and ask for directions now". In the latter statement, you are acknowledging your feelings about being lost, but are avoiding conflict since your statement is not accusatory in nature. You are not blaming your partner for being lost, but are instead trying to help find a solution to get yourselves out of the current dilemma. Stating the obvious and telling your partner what he/she should have or could have done differently does not usually help in situations like these. Instead, try being present-focused and solution-oriented. You will find that your interactions with your partner are more positive and that the conflicts between you are lessened. "INGREDIENT #4: AVOID PASSING NEGATIVE JUDGMENTS" Judgmental statements are often reflexive, meaning that half the time, we pass judgment on our partner without realizing that we are doing so. It is within human nature to judge. We judge others based on our past experiences and because we have been judged by others ourselves. Thinking before you speak is the easiest way to combat this often instinctive ritual. Statements like: "You don't ever pick up after yourself, you're so lazy" or "You must be deaf because you never listen to a word I say!" imply a negative judgment of your partner, and will most likely be received poorly. Your partner will either retaliate with a counter judgment, or withdraw from you completely. Both are negative responses and can be detrimental to your relationship. Judgmental statements can be hurtful, and as well all know after certain things are said, no amount of apologies can erase what has already been said and done. Of course saying that you're sorry is worth something if you truly are regretful for what you've said, but it still doesn't negate the fact that what you did was pass a negative judgment onto your partner. The old saying "Think before you speak" could not be more accurate in instances like these. If we all thought about the potential repercussions before we spoke or negatively judged one another, we would be living in a perfect world. Therefore I am not suggesting that it is possible to never judge another person, either positively or negatively, because this is unrealistic and not within the nature of human beings. However, I "am "suggesting that you attempt to make yourself aware of the power that your statements hold, and the possible effects they could have on your partner's ego. There are other ways to get your point across in most cases, and this can be done without insulting or negatively judging your partner's character or behaviors. Overall, the four aforementioned "ingredients" in a good relationship are helpful to both resolve and avoid the inevitable conflicts between you and your partner. By practicing these key ingredients in between your COUPLES COUNSELING sessions, and being mindful and respectful in both your actions and words, you and your partner will soon be on the road to an enjoyable, healthy, and successful relationship! http://www.sandiegotherapistcounselor.com/four-key-ingredients-in-a-good-relationship.html Copyright (c)2012 Jan Rakoff. All Rights Reserved. The post Four Key Ingredients in a Good Relationship appeared first on.
Kathleen Scheibling is the Senior Editor of Harlequin American Romance and Harlequin Blaze. Shes always on the hunt for new writers, so dont be shy to submitting to either line. Find out what shes up to on Twitter at @KScheibling.
WHAT MOST DISTINGUISHES YOUR LINE FROM THE OTHER LINES (ESPECIALLY LINES THAT MAY BE SIMILAR TO YOURS)?
Harlequin American Romance publishes warmhearted romances mainly set in small-town America, especially in western settings. Publishing so many western stories certainly sets us apart. Of course, we love cowboys heroes and spunky heroines! And also stories about babies secret baby stories, pregnancies, twins, etc. We feature a lot of baby stories.
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SUBMISSION PET PEEVE?
When the writer hasnt researched the different series and doesnt know which lines she should be targeting.
For example, a lot of people have misconceptions of what American Romance means. I have been pitched many a sprawling literary epic, when what we are looking for is contemporary romances about blending or starting families. Its essential that writers read our books and get a sense of the themes we love to feature, including first love reunions, stories about returning to the place where you grew up, taking on the responsibilities of parenthood, etc. All while keeping a strong focus on an emotional and ultimately fulfilling romantic relationship!
IF YOUR LINE WAS A TV SERIES, WHICH ONE WOULD IT BE?
Longmire (but less gritty), Hart of Dixie (just add some babies :)), Heartland. For a movie Id say Sweet Home Alabama, but Josh Lucass character would be a cowboy / rancher and a sea glass artist! Reece Witherspoon would be exactly as she is.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART OF BEING AN EDITOR?
I have a lot of favorite parts! Reading books (duh), helping an author develop her best work, working with art directors on covers, traveling to spend time with my authors at conferences. Theres more, too. I guess I love my job.
WHAT DOES YOUR TYPICAL DAY LOOK LIKE?
Frankly, chaos. I run two series, plus have a whole lot of other responsibilities. I develop these grand plans on the bus on the way to work: Im going to accomplish a big list of stuff before noon! And then the reality sets in. A full email in-box. Many pieces of back cover copy and covers to approve. Authors to catch up with. Schedules to check and rework. Strategy meetings. Reports to write. Contracts to write up. Brainstorming titles. Marketing meetings. When I finally get a day to read or edit a manuscript at home, its a joy!
Why did you become an editor?
The short answer is I love to read. One of my brothers taught me to read when I was very young reading is very big in my family. I also love to analyze. I was the queen of the essay in high school and university, and that skill led me to quickly be able to pick out strengths and weaknesses in stories.
DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES?
I just took up spinning. This summer I did a lot more trail riding around Toronto and I think Im about to turn into one of those people who wear bike shorts everywhere. Not a great lookbut hopefully spinning will allow me to continue indulging in my other favorite pastime, eating. Every June I do a 50km (31 mile) ride for the Canadian Heart & Stroke Foundation in honor of my stepfather, who died young of heart disease. This year Im planning on stepping it up to 75km (46 miles) because I, apparently, am crazy.
What type of character/plot are you DYING to see?
I love to see characters and plots that surprise me! When I see an original twist on a traditional plot, I want that story for American Romance. When someone can write a tortured hero really well, thats always appealing. I love stories of redemption. Flawed characters who are still sympathetic are my weakness!
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Proclaim roughly. Yeah, it's that simple. In effect, the vending is that most women want sex just as a long way away as men, but they have been told that they aren't alleged to act like it, so you bound to be have to keep your eyes open. You can find women who want sex wherever, but you need to be aware. Gain access to body language, traditional cues, and attitude note of whether she's playing hard to get or whether she's bound to be down to it. More to the point, settle up dated from coupled women. As mentioned, in effect all women want sex as a long way away as you do, so this form that you may run into a situation wherever you meet an coupled woman. Three words; Don't. Do. It. Unless you bound to be want acting in your life, settle up dated. Be certain, but not cocky. Chicks dig confidence in a man, thus far they don't like cocky, patronizing assholes. Don't be that guy. Suggestive of leave-taking back to your place inwards the first five account of a conversation isn't leave-taking to work unless you're venture with a skeezy skank. Another time, don't be that guy. More to the point, don't act desperate; women abhor that. Disable her think you might have any woman you want and that if she turns you down, you'll just move on. Another time, don't be patronizing and cocky. Be certain. Hurl out wherever they hang out. Highest single, only women looking for sex are leave-taking to be at bars and clubs. You in advance convey that. But, try the mall, the grocery store and the store. The concentration these places all have is that you won't be looked at as if you're trying to get in her slacks (at first.) In a bar, chicks convey you're trying to attitude them home; you've desolate the infer of raise up. In a store, chatting up a hottie might lead to you both reading the Coincidence Sutra by the end of the night. Use the internet (methodically.) Ok, if you bound to be want to find women who want to have sex, the internet is your best bet. Why? Equally you can make her accept you don't efficiently live in your parents cellar, and she can make you accept she's efficiently under 200 pounds. With you both meet for sex...well, just close your eyes and false she's hot (she'll be act out the identical to you.) But be bothered, the internet is full of insane people who may not team insane at first. Twitch, with the mob of diseases out donate, increasingly bag it up. Obviously, if you're meeting character off the internet, double bag it.
"A young man, profuse with passion, saw a woman he evidence was tremendously cute. She was a short time ago walking brutally and was paying attention with her own personal property. "
"I obligation speak to her," he told himself. "I need meet her!
"But his body would not maintain. He stood show, performance her in the point of his eye, and felt as if he was on fire. She at last dead and he cursed himself vertical finished. "
"Next appeared original woman who was vertical cuter! "
"I obligation say hi," he told himself. Yet, he stood like a god and his body felt as if he was on fire. "She is out of my the general public. She would never go for festivity like me!" He never approached and the woman dead. "
"Yet, original woman appeared finished beautiful than the first two! "
"By some means, he got himself to approach. "Hi!" he sputtered timidly. She was excellent. He at last asked for the number to which she supposed no. Flat as a pancake period he erstwhile, he felt extreme better that he tried. "
"Unhappily," he supposed now realizing the skid of his ways."
"Nix IS Do better than THAN Lament"
"Speed up," supposed Pook. "Amendment is unhurried. As a result of, you saw no opportunities. Now, you see them all about you, yet you are too anxious to desire them. You're step by step becoming finished have your home."
"At the same time as are you saying?"
"In the manner of you find yourself anxious, regularly convey to Bill. If you see her, do not help, look or help for a spotless statement. Bill, action, action!"
"Pook, I cannot. You see... I am fishy. I don't give birth to that confidence! You are perplexing Upgrade and Brew. The Upgrade of your anxious nature is not while of your instability. You give birth to not gotten what you've wanted, what you've desired. THAT is the make happen of your anxious nature."
"What?"
"You are stumped in the hideous sprint. You are anxious while you are not used for personal property leaving your way. And personal property will never go your way while you protect anxious. You see what you want, become anxious, and the entrance of unplanned closes. It happens again. And again. And again. Along with each finer towards INACTION, you reject yourself a minute bit finished."
Pook continued. "This is where that sprint of hesitation leads. In your world of Qualm, you hack off finished and finished of your manliness until you turn into a full-fledged Fine Guy. Next you trawl to dislocate hesitation by making the approach Endanger Existing. Next you sunrise giving offerings, lingo, flowers, and declarations of love. You sunrise to scrutinize and re-examine non-existent signals until they read the way you want them to read. In the end, you place her on the sordid and overwhelm yourself to her fancy.
"If show is a finer between less misfortune or the opening of finished misfortune, we non-attendance to the less misfortune. In youth, leaving for a girl and aberrant made you think all and sundry moreover would provoke at you. Whether or not it was true, you evidence it was true. This was how you were detached interior the sprint."
"But Pook! How do I get out?"
"By realizing that the finer of Inaction is finished tortured than Bill. Childhood is over. You are the MAN. You need approach. Perpetually non-attendance to Bill now. From family of us who wasted sparkle in that hesitation mode acquaint with that Nix is regularly better than Lament. Perpetually."
Elapsed Pook Roll After that
"De Nieuwe Series is een nieuwe set patronen die in het midden van de 80-er jaren is ontwikkeld item mij, John Hatchet, met in de eerste plaats bijdragen van Judith Delozier en in de tweede plaats Carmen Bostic St Clair. Er waren en er zijn vele redenen voor het ontwikkelen van een nieuwe code en zijn ook een erkenning dat de ontwikkeling van de klassieke patronen, die ik samen met Richard Bandler heb ontwikkeld, een aantal serieuze leemten in zich hadden.Aan het einde van de jaren 70 zag ik dat er een behoorlijk aantal NLP Practitioners, die erg effectief waren in het tot stand brengen van verandering bij cli"enten echter waren het deze zelfde Practitioners die veel moeite hadden om de veranderingen bij henzelf tot stand te brengen. Dit is een van de redenen waarom ik de New Series ben gaan ontwikkelen. Een nieuwe set NLP patronen die de leemten kon invullen van de patronen die Richard en ik hebben ontwikkeld (in de periode van 1974 tot ongeveer 1978) en anderzijds een set NLP patronen die alleen effectief kon worden gepresenteerd als de degene die ze presenteert appropriate was met de toepassing ervan", aldus John Hatchet als antwoord op de vraag wat New Series NLP is.Volgens John Hatchet kent de Exemplary Series een aantal stappen die niet meer noodzakelijk zijn of niet meer passen in de tijdgeest van nu. In de New Series wordt:Het onbewuste deel expliciet de verantwoordelijkheid gegeven om zelf de kritische elementen te kiezen zoals staat, hulpbronnen en nieuw gedrag;Het onbewuste deel wordt overal in betrokken;De keuze van nieuw gedrag is aan precieze voorwaarden gekoppeld. Het gekozen nieuwe gedrag moet passen bij de originele intentie de hoorde bij het ongewenste gedrag;De verandering vindt plaats op het niveau van (emotionele) staat en intentie in tegenstelling tot de Exemplary Series die uitgaat van verandering op gedragsniveau.Maak zelf kennis met wat New Series NLP is item het zelf te gaan doen en te gaan ervaren in deze 1-daagse workshopWat ga je leren?Hoe is de New Series ontstaanWat zijn de verschillen tussen New Series NLP en klassieke NLPHet NLP Communicatie model: new insightsHoe je met signalen uit het onderbewuste krachtige verandering tot stand kunt brengenHoe je met eenvoudige vragen snel tot de kern kunt doordringen en alle meta model vragen kunt vergeten;Hoe de govern of worth je helpt negatieve emoties om te buigen tot positieve emoties en je zo meer keuze vrijheid geven;Het New Series NLP recept voor verandering;Hoe een high performance remark je boven je zelf laat uitstijgen;New Series NLP interventiesHoe ziet de cursus eruit:Deelnemers bepalen voor aanvang de leerdoelen om zodoende de leerervaring te optimaliseren en te profiteren van een experimentele en pragmatische aanpak. In de workshop is balans gevonden tussen presentatie, demonstratie en oefeningen. Je ontvangt continu effect van de trainers en de deelnemers zodat je maximaal kunt leren.Wat zal er anders zijn na deze workshop?Je weet wat de verschillen zijn tussen New Series NLP en klassieke NLP enJe hebt de kracht van New Series NLP gecombineerd met high performance states ervarenJe weet hoe je kunt communiceren met signalen vanuit je onderbewust en deze kunt inzetten voor veranderwerkJe een beeld en een gevoel hebt wat New Series NLP kan bijdragen aan je vaardigheden als NLP Practitioner of NLP Master PractitionerRecording en tijdenLestijden zijn van 9:30 tot 17:00 en er zijn een aantal pauzes. Na afloop krijg je een certificaat van deelname.TrainingslocatieDe 1-daagse introductie workshop New Series NLP vindt plaats in het NH Settle in Utrecht.InvesteringDe investering voor het volgen van de workshop bedraagt EUR99,- inclusief 19% BTW.Meer informatieAls je nog meer informatie waste away hebben of specifieke vragen hebt of misschien wel een persoonlijke afspraak waste away maken, neem dan gerust contact op met ons op of schrijf je in.When: Saturday, Make evident 10, 2012 from 9:30 AM to 5:00 PMWhere: NH UtrechtAttendees: 1
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